Like A Single Candle
by MythNLynx
Summary: HYD AU. A 'What if' kind of piece. Spoiler warning: Based on Vols. 19 to 21! When two months come to a close, what will Tsukushi decide? TxT Oneshot. This is my very first fanfic submission, please be gentle! Please R&R! Thank you!


**Disclaimer: **As everyone knows, I do not own the characters from **Hana Yori Dango/Boys Over Flowers**. They just like to sneak into the dark corners of my head late at night for make-out sessions. Stupid kids. Get a room. God knows, most of you can afford it.

Thank you, Kamio-sensei!

_AN: This is an AU based on Vol. 19-21 of Boys Over Flowers. What if they could have gotten through the two months without outside interference?_

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**Like a Single Candle**

**A Hana Yori Dango FanFic**

**By Janice Rips**

_Two Weeks Ago_

One Side of a Telephone Conversation:

Hello? Oh, Tsukushi! Huh? Really?? Of course, I'd love to go shopping with you! No, really... It's the first time you've asked me to... Yes, I'm really happy!!! I'll see you in twenty minutes--Bye!!

---

Tsukushi and Shigeru meet in the clothing district. Shigeru is excited, Tsukushi seems vaguely distracted.

"Shigeru, thanks so much for coming with me! I could really use your help with this... you know, your fashion sense and expertise..."

"Of course! I'm glad to help!" Shigeru gushes. "What are we shopping for?"

"Umm..." Tsukushi blushes, then whispers "...lingerie."

"Lingerie??" Shigeru gapes, astonished.

Tsukushi grows even redder, "Well, actually, just a nightgown, something nice and a little, umm... s-sexy," she stammers.

"No way! Are you serious?? You???"

"W-well, all I have are pajamas, with cute things, like cats, on them, I want something... different." By now, Tsukushi is crimson, and Shigeru can barely hear her.

"C'mon! I know just the shop!" And Shigeru drags a stumbling Tsukushi down the street...

"I don't know... this seems a bit rich for my wallet." Tsukushi eyes the boutique with trepidation. (Damn, I only have 30,000 yen on me... That's a week and a half's wages from the dango shop... If I'm careful, maybe I can still treat us to lunch... Ai! This was a terrible idea.)

"Tsukushi, trust me. Good lingerie is worth it. It's more... durable," says Shigeru with a knowing wink.

"WHAT?!?" Tsukushi is aghast.

"Calm down! Kidding! (Well, sort of...)" Shigeru smiles. She leads Tsukushi over to a rack of cute baby-doll-type nightgowns. "So, what do you think of these?"

Err... They're not _really_ what I had in mind..." (Do I look like Sakurako to you??) "I was thinking something classier, something more mature. Something... special."

"Classy?... Mature?... Something special??? Oh, _no WAY!!! _You're finally _going to DO IT!!! _Oh, I'm so happy!!!" Shigeru squeals.

"_Shhh!!! _Must you be so LOUD???" hisses Tsukushi, mortified.

Shigeru paws happily through a rack of long gowns, while Tsukushi sits, holding her head in her hands. "...Nope... too long... too loose... way too tight... too childish... too frilly... too prim... too, too ugly... too weird... ugh, hideous... nice, but not you... slutty, oh wait, did you want that? No, I didn't think so..." Shigeru comments as she inspects each gown. Just as Tsukushi is about to tell her to just forget the whole thing, Shigeru shouts triumphantly, "Aha! this is perfect!"

On the hanger Shigeru holds above her head is a gown unlike any Tsukushi has ever dreamed of owning. From two delicate straps hangs a calf-length sheath of rose-and-gold-tinged ivory habotai silk. On her petite frame, it would hang to just above her ankles. A draft from the open shop door sends it fluttering softly. Rose-and-gold shadows ripple seductively across its surface.

It is truly perfect.

Except for the price tag. "70,000 yen! Shigeru, please, just hang it up. I haven't got half that. I don't want to look at it anymore. Maybe the department store has something in nylon or polyester."

"Don't be ridiculous! You simply cannot wear _nylon_ to seduce a man like Doumyouji for the first time! It's just plain _tawdry!_ Don't you have any _pride?_"

"I have plenty of pride! I just...don't have any money..." Tsukushi mutters darkly.

Shigeru, still clutching the oh-so-perfect gown, grabs Tsukushi and drags her toward the fitting room. "Look," she says, "just try it on. If it isn't flattering, that's one thing, but if money is the issue, it's no issue. I'll buy it for you!"

"No, Shigeru, I can't let you do that!!!"

"Tsukushi," (now Shigeru is frowning), "I think it's time you learned a lesson about high-class behavior."

"You know I don't like how most of the Upper Class behaves!" Tsukushi whines.

"I said high-class, not Upper Class," Shigeru explains patiently, as to a child. "Today's lesson is on Graciousness. When somebody gives you something nice, whether it's a gift or a compliment, the rudest response you can return is to argue, to tell them they're wrong, or that they shouldn't. That's like saying that they have poor taste! And never, never offer to pay someone back for a gift! The correct, gracious response is to smile and say, 'Thank you.' Now, try it. Take a deep, calming breath, smile, and say 'Thank you, Shigeru.'"

"Thank you, Shigeru," Tsukushi smiles.

Breaking into a wide grin, Shigeru says, "You're welcome, Tsukushi! Now, come, try on this gown."

It fits like a dream. It shimmers like a candle flame. It is perfect.

Leaving the shop, Shigeru offers Tsukushi a ride.

"Oh, no, thank you," she says, "I still have a stop to make."

"Okay," Shigeru smiles, "Oh! I can't wait to tell Sakurako and Yuki!!!"

"Wait!!! Please, don't. I know that they're my other best friends, and they'll probably be cross with me for not telling them... but I really don't want to take any chances on Doumyouji finding out. I can never tell what Sakurako will take a notion to do next, and Yuki tells Nishikado everything!"

"Hmm... I see your point. But can you at least tell me how long I have to hold on to this secret?"

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks!?! You're waiting until the full two months is up???"

"Well, I could still change my mind-- after all, he could turn back into a real jerk by then," Tsukushi replies with a straight face. Then she ruins the effect by giggling!

"Tsukushi, you are a cruel and unusual woman," Shigeru says as she waves goodbye.

---

_At the shrine, later that afternoon_

Tsukushi writes a prayer on a slip of paper:

Grant me grace, courage, and compassion. Help me to know what is in my heart. Help me to trust in my own strength. Help me to open my heart to this man. Help me to believe in him.

---

_That evening, at the Doumyouji Mansion_

Tsukushi clears the dinner plates from the table to the sideboard, while Tsukasa sets up the telescope. Tonight the have another stargazing date. Tsukushi loves listening to Tsukasa, who sounds as eager as a child as he points out the different celestial bodies. She, in turn, recounts the myths attached to the names of the stars. Tsukasa has begun teaching her how to adjust the telescope herself, and glows with pride as she begins to comprehend its' intricate workings.

Finally, around 2 a.m., they finish as they always do: Tsukasa finds Saturn in the telescope, and they take turns admiring its' beauty. Tonight, though, he varies a bit from the script...

"Makino. Here. For you," he says, handing her a small, square box wrapped in red tissue.

"Doumyouji?" she queries, looking up at him earnestly.

"Please. Just open it," he replies, his voice soft.

Undoing the wrapping, Tsukushi gently opens the box. Nestled inside is a blown-glass bottle, a clear orb encircled by a delicate ring. An oily amber liquid sloshes softly inside. She lifts an eyebrow in inquiry.

"It's perfume. I commissioned it from our parfumier in France. I had it patented. It's unique, like you. No other woman will ever wear this scent. I named it... Hope." Tsukasa blushes fiercely as he delivers this speech, then looks at her expectantly.

"Doumyouji, I--" she starts to hand the bottle back, but seeing the stricken look flash through his eyes as he starts to scowl, she pauses. (Graciousness) She raises the bottle to her face, opens it, takes a tentative sniff. Tsukasa watches her warily. She closes her eyes, inhales more deeply, then smiles as she carefully applies some to her wrists and throat. She looks directly into his eyes, smiles again, and says, "Doumyouji. Thank you. It's wonderful."

Tsukasa sits down in a nearby chair. Hard. The look of astonishment on his face is priceless. So is his next look, a broad grin she's only seen once or twice before.

"Makino, you never cease to amaze me. I do believe that this is the first gift I've ever given you that you've accepted without an argument." He rises from the chair and walks over to her. Gently, reverently, he lifts her wrist to his face, inhales deeply, and then places a soft kiss there. He walks her to the door, kisses the top of her head, and sends her back to her room, staring after her with a look of bemused infatuation.

(Gee, maybe Shigeru's not so strange after all...)

---

_One Week Ago_

Tsukushi knocks softly on the door to Tama's room. "Tama-sempai, may I come in?"

"Yes, child, the door's always open for you."

Tsukushi bows respectfully to the older woman, then kneels next to her chair. Tama looks back at her expectantly.

"Sempai, I need your help."

"Have you decided then, child?"

"I think so. Is it wrong of me to wait until the last night to tell him, do you think?"

"Wrong? Not exactly wrong, no. If you are not one hundred percent sure, then it would be wrong to get his hopes up prematurely. This must be a decision you are certain you can live with. To change your mind would be devastating to him. It might even kill him," the old woman warns.

"I will be sure by then," Tsukushi assures her, "but I need help acquiring some things without his knowledge. I want to make this special."

"What do you need? I will do what I can for you. If it is within my power, you shall have it, for both your sakes."

"Well, first, I need a room. One with French doors and a fireplace. And a bed," Tsukushi adds, blushing prettily under Tama's scrutiny.

"Of course," Tama replies unblinkingly.

"I would like to have a featherbed for the bed... I need four diffusers, with red candles... some gold candles for elsewhere around the room... and a fire laid in the grate. Oh, and a glass beaker and stirrer, and some unscented diffuser oil!"

"Anything else?" Tama queries gently.

"Yes, that is, if you think one of the chefs would be willing... do you think I could have hot chocolate and some poached pears with cinnamon in dishes that can be warmed on the hearth? And cups and the like to serve them, please?"

"I can do all of this with relative ease, child, but tell me, why do you need the glass beaker and stirrer?"

"Doumyouji-san gifted me with some perfume. I would like to mix some with diffuser oil to scent the room. I know scents are often changed by contact with metal or plastic, so I need the glass beaker and stirrer to blend the oil and perfume without ruining the scent," Tsukushi explains.

"Ah, indeed," Tama smiles, surprised once again by the odd bits of knowledge floating about in this girl's head. "Relax. I shall see to this. All will be ready the night of the full moon. Just be sure you are ready as well."

---

_Tonight. The final night..._

"Doumyouji, what's wrong with your food? You keep pushing it around your plate, but I don't think you've eaten more than two bites," Tsukushi scolds gently.

Tsukasa scowls at the offending plate, then pushes it away. "It's not the food, it's me. My stomach feels as if it's tied in knots." He stares at her incredulously. "Makino, how is it that you can always eat like that?!?" he splutters.

"Like what?" she replies mildly.

"I don't know, like everything that touches your lips is nectar, like every meal could well be your last?"

"It's just all so good! You do have excellent chefs in your employ, Doumyouji."

"But _NOTHING_ infects your appetite!!!" he thunders.

"I think you mean _affects_," she comments.

"WHATEVER. Don't you even realize what tonight is???"

"Tonight?" she asks, blinking up at him innocently.

Tsukasa just stares. Then he gets up and starts to stalk away. "Never mind.." he mutters.

Tsukushi relents. "Doumyouji, wait. Of course I know what tonight is. Is that what has you so riled?"

Again, he just stares.

Tsukushi sighs. "Doumyouji, sit down, please. Let's talk about this. Let's not fight... not tonight. Please," she repeats.

Tsukasa sits, but now he can't look her in the eye. He begins to speak, as though addressing the tablecloth. "Makino, I've really tried. I wanted to do whatever it would take to make you love me. I've eaten weird food, gone strange places, I've even held a DOG! All to prove I could be what I thought you wanted. All to make you love me those last 9/10ths." He sighs deeply and shakes his head. "But I've failed. I know you don't love me. I'm not even sure you like me. Makino, do you even _see_ me?" he asks desperately.

"Doumyouji, I--" she begins, but he cuts her short.

"No. Don't pity me. I can't take that."

Tsukushi sits silently, unsure what she can say that he won't take the wrong way, when Tsukasa begins to speak again.

"Makino, would you grant me one last favor? Would you... stay with me tonight?"

"Stay with..?"

"I won't ask anything unreasonable of you... maybe we could play cards again or something... It's just..." he pauses, "it's just that, this time, I'm the one who can't face sleeping in that big room all alone. Not when I know that tomorrow morning, you'll be gone."

Tsukushi watches quietly as a tear slides down Tsukasa's cheek. One single tear, glistening like a falling star. She smiles gently as she says, "Of course. I'm not heartless, you know."

"Sometimes I wonder," he murmurs.

"Just give me some time, say, an hour, to get ready," she asks. "I'd like to bathe, and get some things together first."

"Sure," he replies disconsolately, "you probably shouldn't leave all your packing for morning. But Makino? One hour. Please don't keep me waiting longer... please."

No, Tsukasa. I've kept us both waiting long enough.

---

_Tsukasa's room_

Please, Tsukushi... I'm already so lonely... Why does everybody leave me?.. Why am I not good enough for you?.. Why can't you love me?.. How am I going to live without you?.. Oh, please... Don't leave me alone with these thoughts for too long... Please, Tsukushi.

---

_The stargazing room_

Tsukushi, fresh from the bath, lights candles, fills diffusers, sets food and drink to warm by the hearth. She fluffs up the featherbed, opens the drapes to let in the moonlight, then steps back to survey her handiwork. Satisfied that she can do no more here, she steels her courage as she readies herself.

The silken gown glides over her naked skin, soft as a whisper. As she dabs perfume at her pulse points, it becomes a kind of ritual anointing as she prays:

Amaterasu, give me your strength. Give me your courage. Give me your grace. Please, don't let it be too late for us.

---

_Tonight. Now. There is only now._

There is a soft knock. Tsukasa answers the door. Tsukushi is there, in a soft , white robe, almost comically large. As if he could laugh at anything tonight. Her hair is soft and still a little damp, her face clean, her eyes bright. God, he loves her. He resolves to enjoy what little time is left to them. He pastes a tentative smile on his face.

"Hi. Come in. Do you wanna go to bed now, or... do you wanna play?" he asks, holding up a deck of cards. (Yeah. I can do this. Just keep it light.) "I'll even learn Seven Bridge tonight, if you'll teach me."

"Doumyouji." She looks so serious. Tsukasa's smile falters. "Doumyouji, I had another sort of evening in mind. Do you mind?" she asks quietly.

"No, I guess not," he replies uncertainly.

"Good. Come with me please."

Tsukasa follows, but hesitates when he sees to which room they are headed. "Makino, it's the full moon. We won't be able to see anything tonight with the telescope," he says regretfully.

"Doumyouji, it seems like we are always replaying scenes from our past. Tonight, let's make a new memory." Taking his hand, Tsukushi leads him through the door. His eyes adjust to the dimness within, and widen at the changes she's made. He turns to face her, her name a question that dies unspoken on his lips.

The oversized robe is now draped over a couch. Tsukushi stands before him, all silk and skin and eyes like drowning pools, glowing like a single candle lit to chase the darkness. He has never seen this woman before. He has loved this woman for a thousand lifetimes. How can she do this to him, just as he's about to lose her? Has she no idea how very devastating is her beauty?

He goes to speak, but she silences him with a raised hand. She steps slowly towards him, and it is her voice that fills the silence.

"Doumyouji... no, wait... Tsukasa." The firelight dances on skin and silk, the moonlight fills her eyes. "Tsukasa, you have become precious to me... I see you... I choose you above all others..." she steps forward... "you are the air I breathe... you are my heartbeat... without you, I am only half alive."

She stands directly before him. She takes his hand, places it over her heart. He can feel it pounding to rival his own. "Doumyouji Tsukasa, I love you. If you will have me, I place my heart into your keeping. I am sorry to have kept you waiting so long."

He pulls his hand away, stares at it as though it has been burned. She lowers her head. "Oh, I see," she murmurs, "it seems I have done something foolish." She turns away. "I'm sorry. I guess it's too late."

His hand reaches out, clutches her shoulder. He turns her about and pulls hers into his arms. Tears trail from his eyes, run in rivulets down his cheeks, soak into her hair. Her scent dizzies him. She is here, where she belongs. She is real. She is his. For always. "No, Tsukushi, it's not too late. It's never too late for love."

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_Note: _Do you wanna go to bed now, or... do you wanna play? _is a direct quote from the Viz release of __Boys Over Flowers Vol. 11.__ There are also other references back to this volume._


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